They’re better long-term relationship bets than the white men who are using you for exotic sex, don’t you think?
But from my experience and from stories of my peers, there is as much desire for racial justice and reconciliation as there is unhelpful idolizing and fetishizing of interracial relationships and biracial friends.
Below are four truths we need to understand about IRRs.
The only men I attract are the ones I don’t fancy or have a different agenda to me!
So I realise that in this ever decreasing dating pool, my numbers are even smaller than most women as I don’t and won’t date within my race. So what to do – am I living in a dream world and need to maybe just get into my head that I’m meant to be single?
Deciding to enter an IRR doesn’t change prejudice in your heart.
You will definitely bump up against and wrestle with your own stereotypes and racist mentalities throughout your relationship, but it takes more than a change in your relationship status to change your misperceptions and biases.
I’m so sick of the “you’re really attractive, why are you single” comments because I don’t KNOW why I’m single.
Even the men I have dated think I’m great – so why am I not great enough to settle down with???
” sounds as silly to me as, “How do I get a black woman to commit? How would you answer that question if I told you that my black girlfriends always dump me? No more than some guitarist can complain that women are attracted to him but don’t want to marry a 40-year-old guy who plays for tips in the subway. So if a black woman doesn’t see herself having mixed race Jewish kids, you’re probably not going to be a good fit for her life, Evan – even if you’re both nice, attractive people. That leads us to the next part of today’s tough love post: “Why would any man dump you, Jae? You look down on the commitment-oriented white men who fall for your sister since they’re beneath your standards.